Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Going Raw: Day Three (and panicking)

I'm starting to crave chocolate. It's not so bad yet but I know it's only going to get worse...and I don't think I brought enough food to work with me today.

And the worst part, I'm really starting to panic about this whole calorie thing! I don't know how to diet without counting calories...of course that's the whole point: I'm not dieting. I really want to just forget about it but the issue is that my body and I are speaking different languages. I don't understand what it's telling me and I don't even know what it is I should be listening for! I can only hope that this lack of communication will fade in time but right now it's driving me into a frenzy!

Not to mention I'm starting to rethink how I'm doing this. I'm definitely not having second thoughts about going raw but I've been reading so much contradicting advice it's hard to gauge what's real and what's not. One person will tell me that I need to wean myself off of cooked foods and another person will tell me that I should approach it like ripping off a bandaid. Now personally, I've always been more of a bandaid person so the latter sounds more appealing to me. Once I settle on something I just want to jump right on in, no prolonged courting periods thank you! But then I panic when I read something that says that without the proper weaning process, this diet can do more harm than good. How is it possible for every single raw vegan out there to have a different opinion on this topic?! I think I need to find a live, warm-blooded person who's been through this process before and see what they say and how they approached it.

This is possibly the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Why can't I just understand what it is I should be doing? I really wish that my body and I would get over this language barrier and learn to coexist in harmony. I know that it will come in time if I just have patience, keep at it and keep listening. I just can't help tuning it out most of the time because that's so normal for me and I'm worried that if I keep doing it, I will end up getting frustrated that it's not getting any easier and give up.

Damn this OCD...must stop panicking so much.

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