Going Raw: Day 12

I've been so preoccupied today with looking up raw recipes and reading blogs that I have completely ignored everything else. I feel like I'm letting this take over my whole life and that is not the idea behind me going raw. So starting this weekend on, I'm devoting only two hours of the day to thinking about anything raw food related (not counting when I'm eating =P). I'm going to focus on other things and not just what I'm going to be eating next week. I mean, it's taken me almost the whole day to figure out my menu for next week and make out my grocery list. Is that insane or what?! Then again, I've always been like this. I do need time to figure out what I'm doing the whole week given that I don't have too much time to make a new meal every night depending on how I feel. So whatever I do make, pretty much has to last me the entire week. And I have to have easy back-ups just in case whatever I made that was more intricate doesn't last me long enough. I know that eating healthy takes work but I really can't spend as much time as I have been thinking about this.

Other than that, I should be getting my camera's computer cord so I'll be able to upload the pictures I've taken of my food. I'm pretty excited to see how they turned out.

As far as how the raw food is making me feel? My stomach was still acting up last night but I think it finally calmed down this morning. And I think that is partly because the weather around here has finally dropped below the 90 degree point. It's been in the 90s for the past two weeks! I don't even know how I survived that. I definitely don't live in Seattle for the scorching weather. I'm so ready for fall.

And finally, in the good news department: I've lost another two pounds this week. That makes it a total of six pounds in 12 days! Insane! I really hope that this is legitimate weight loss. I hope that it sticks.

And now...back to my shopping list. =P

Going Raw: Day 11

This will be a very short one as I'm in a pretty lousy state right now and blogging is the last thing on my mind.

I pretty much had to cut communication with my friend, the alcoholic. It hurts like hell. I feel like I'm abandoning him and all I want to do is cry and be there for him. Ultimately, I know it's for the best but why does doing the right thing hurt so much?

In food news: something I ate last night didn't sit well with me. It was either the smoothie I had at Custom Smoothie while I was at work (seeing as I spilled the one I made on its way out of the fridge) or the fact that I had more watermelon after dinner. I just don't learn, do I? I know I shouldn't but it just calls to me but I really wanted the kelp noodles and cashew alfredo for dinner last night. So I caved and had the watermelon. Boy was my stomach not happy with me this morning. It's just that I stop eating by like 7:00 or 7:30 and since I only have dinner at like 6:00, there's no way I can wait to digest that before having watermelon. Hmmm...I should find out how long I have to wait after eating a meal to have melon...might be useful information.

Other than that, I think I'm about to start a love affair with kelp noodles. They are by far the BEST pasta substitute I have ever had! And boy were they delish with the alfredo! I think I may just have to have them every single night. I definitely recommend them!

I feel like there's more to say but my mind is in like ten different places right now so no single thought is staying put long enough for me to write it down. And on that note, I think we'll call this a wrap.

Going Raw: Day Ten

I had my first really emotional obstacle yesterday:

My best friend, who is an alcoholic, called me yesterday and was convinced that something was happening that was definitely not occurring. He was hallucinating. I thought he had stopped drinking for nearly a month now but apparently he had started again. I talked to his mother and she's pretty convinced that he's not going to make it through this time. We're just waiting for the final, definitive blow.

When this problem first arose a few months ago, I was devastated. So of course to numb this incredible pain I was feeling, I ate. I ate a lot! I gained nearly ten pounds or so just from trying to stuff the feelings down with chips and candy and pasta.

Yesterday...I didn't feel the urge to go and buy junk. Good lord was I craving a cigarette like no other but cooked food (and junk food) were not even appealing to me. One of my coworkers took me out to Juno for dinner last night to keep my mind off of it and I got a big salad without cheese and some roasted beets (rawish, right?) but the cooked items on the menu, things that would normally tempt me when I'm upset like ravioli and grilled seafood, weren't even an option in my mind; I didn't even want to order them. I was a little tempted by the bread basket (as usual) but I managed to resist. My indulgence last night to make myself feel better was a Larabar. Which ultimately didn't really make me feel better because I found the peanut butter cookie flavor revolting. I guess that worked out to prove that food doesn't make bad things go away.

So still trying to be good to myself...even when the world isn't.

Going Raw: Day Nine (Let the compliments commence)

I had a co-worker come up to me earlier this morning and say something I didn't expect to hear. He's a very congenial guy but this was completely out of the blue. He came to my desk and said to me: "Rita, you look really nice today. I don't know what it is about you lately, but whatever you're doing is working, you look great!"

The last thing I expected was for someone who had no idea what I was doing to mention how much better I looked lately. It's only been nine days and the results are visible already? I have noticed that my cheeks are much less puffy than normal...is that because of the raw food?

I'm just finding it really hard to believe that the improvements can be noticeable so soon!

I have realized that it's easier for me to eat minimally after dinner (i.e. after dinner desserts) if I give myself a time I have to stop eating and stick to it. And knowing that I can have banana "ice cream" as a dessert in the evenings helps as well. I'll post the (ridiculously easy) recipe for it later. Then after that if I feel like it, I'll have some berries or an apricot before my cut-off point of 7:00 pm. Though I do think I need to start buying less fruit for the house. I believe I have too much variety. If I limit the fruits I have in the house to like 2 or 3 types per week (not including the staples of bananas and mangoes for my smoothies and ice creams) then I should be okay.

Oh, I tried a Larabar this weekend for the very first time and OH...MY...GOD! That was absolutely delicious! I can't believe I'd never tried these before. Now I'm scared that I'm going to have a problem staying away from them! They may just replace chocolate for me! Hopefully one or two days of relative decadence a week won't set me back too much ;)

Going Raw: Day Eight

I made it through the weekend. If there any exceptionally difficult triggers in my life, Friday nights are definitely one of the toughest. I'm used coming home, taking the dog to the park and stopping by the store and buying a bag of chips and some candy or ice cream and making a dinner of it. I did not feel that urge this last Friday night! I made it through without exceptional failure. Of course I keep ignoring the food combining rules and that results in a Rita bashing for a day or two. I really need to just stop worrying about it for a while and focus on getting acclimated to this raw eating thing.

I'm breaking out and having some kind of bizarre mood swings but I can't say that this wasn't expected. I just hope they go away soon (the zits and the moods). Other than that, I'm definitely noticing that I'm more eager to go outside and walk with the pup instead of simply driving to the dog park and sitting on the ledge while he chews on a stick. On average, Finn and I went out three times a day (half an hour each) for walks this past weekend.

I did over-eat somewhat on Saturday and Sunday, not surprisingly, but I don't feel too bad...two semi-indulgent days out of the week aren't going to destroy me. Though I did figure out that watermelon right after a meal is NOT a good idea. I already knew this but I guess I just had to experience it first-hand...it wasn't a great feeling.

For dinner I made Gena's pizza "cheese" and Heathy's Italian dressing. I will start taking pictures of my dinners and posting recipes to go with them as soon as I get my camera's computer connection cord from my sister.

Oh and I finally ordered a small food processor today. Though the blender did a pretty good job with the pizza cheese, by the time I was finished, I could smell the motor starting to burn out =P I can't wait to get it so that I can start making more nut cheeses and pate!

Going Raw: Day Five

Day five and I'm four pounds lighter. I had to step on my scale two or three times just to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. I don't think I've ever lost that much that quick.

Today, I actually overcame my first obstacle. I was asked to go to lunch today by an omnivore and after looking over the menu, I nervously agreed to go. I didn't know what to expect and whether this person would be judgemental or not and whether the food would taste good.

The restaurant was Boka in downtown Seattle. I ordered a starter baby lettuce salad sans cheese and a roasted tomato soup without the croutons. Obviously, this wasn't an all raw lunch but I think I did very well under the circumstances. I even managed to resist the bread and butter that arrived at our table shortly after we arrived.

I'm still going through some pretty rough detox coughing but I didn't have to have a cough drop just to fall asleep last night. Ultimately I'm still really happy with what this is doing for me. I'm still being somewhat paranoid but a lot less so the more and more I become acclimated. I'm starting to worry less about the food I eat (as long as it's raw and not combining starches and proteins) and worrying more about only eating when I'm hungry. That last part is very difficult to do at home since this is where the bulk of my over-eating took place before. I'm still struggling but I'm hoping that after a few weeks it will simply become habit for me to not eat until my body tells me it's time. If only there was a way to get my fridge to shock me when I tried to get in there before it was time.

I'm finding some really fantastic recipes around the web to try out...can't wait =)

Going Raw: Day Four (and feeling empowered)

Despite this itchy rash on my arm and awful coughing and phlegm that I won't go into detail about, I feel amazing!

This is day four and for the first time I feel like I can do this! I can tackle this mission and I can be happy and healthy and I can succeed.

I don't know if it's all of the blogs and books I've been reading but since I've started eating raw, I've been a nervous wreck and today...I feel like everything is going to be okay, I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, I can see myself getting better and better and I can envision myself being a pro at this lifestyle.

Please keep in mind, I am usually NEVER this cheery. I hate pep and anything that goes along with it, I'm a realist. So it is highly unusual for me to be this elated given that my results haven't even started to show! I don't want to think about that though. I want to be happy in this moment and not worry about whether I'm losing weight or eating too much.

For the first time I'm taking the time to listen to my body and understand what it is telling me. I'm trying to learn the language and really give it what it needs. And now, I've started reading up on food combining and it's a highly intimidating subject but what I've come to realize the two big rules are (and a big thank you to Gena for this) don't mix starches with proteins and don't eat fruit after a bigger meal. For right now, I think I have enough on my plate that food combining isn't the biggest worry I have so I won't even focus too much on it. But if I have to follow some rules down the line, I'll make them as simple as I can. I will still have my green smoothies in the morning and I will focus on making my meals centered around mainly greens with everything else simply as a side and no desserts (i.e. fruits) after my main meal unless my body is actually telling me to and I'm not just bored or accustomed to doing it.

I am still trying to focus on just doing this one day at a time and not looking too far down the road and today, I'm choosing to eat raw and obey my body.

Can you eat too much Raw?

I think I've figured out what it is that is bothering me about this diet: can you binge on raw? Obviously the answer to that is yes. But my question is this:

Everyone tells you to listen to your body and focus on what it's telling you...well what if your body is telling you to eat, eat, eat and eat some more? I know it's healthier to overindulge with fruit than processed chocolate but is it still possible to be healthy and lose weight while overindulging in apricots, or cherries, or bananas, etc.?

I'm just worried that I'm eating too much. Considering I haven't exactly figured out how to obey my own natural instincts yet, I'm forced to use other methods to gauge my success. After a while on the raw food diet, I probably won't have these concerns because I'll know when my body is telling me to stop but for now, I'm scared that, as I've said repeatedly, I'm not doing this right...that I'm replacing my cooked vices with raw vices. Isn't a raw food binge, still a binge? Isn't an over eater who eats only raw, still an over eater?

Is it possible to be overweight and be raw? I know this isn't a miracle diet but it would sure help to know that I'm just being paranoid, that too much would require a lot more than I'm consuming now.

Going Raw: Day Three (and panicking)

I'm starting to crave chocolate. It's not so bad yet but I know it's only going to get worse...and I don't think I brought enough food to work with me today.

And the worst part, I'm really starting to panic about this whole calorie thing! I don't know how to diet without counting calories...of course that's the whole point: I'm not dieting. I really want to just forget about it but the issue is that my body and I are speaking different languages. I don't understand what it's telling me and I don't even know what it is I should be listening for! I can only hope that this lack of communication will fade in time but right now it's driving me into a frenzy!

Not to mention I'm starting to rethink how I'm doing this. I'm definitely not having second thoughts about going raw but I've been reading so much contradicting advice it's hard to gauge what's real and what's not. One person will tell me that I need to wean myself off of cooked foods and another person will tell me that I should approach it like ripping off a bandaid. Now personally, I've always been more of a bandaid person so the latter sounds more appealing to me. Once I settle on something I just want to jump right on in, no prolonged courting periods thank you! But then I panic when I read something that says that without the proper weaning process, this diet can do more harm than good. How is it possible for every single raw vegan out there to have a different opinion on this topic?! I think I need to find a live, warm-blooded person who's been through this process before and see what they say and how they approached it.

This is possibly the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Why can't I just understand what it is I should be doing? I really wish that my body and I would get over this language barrier and learn to coexist in harmony. I know that it will come in time if I just have patience, keep at it and keep listening. I just can't help tuning it out most of the time because that's so normal for me and I'm worried that if I keep doing it, I will end up getting frustrated that it's not getting any easier and give up.

Damn this OCD...must stop panicking so much.

Going Raw: Day Two

Is it normal to feel this tired? I feel really exhausted...I actually went to bed at 8:30 last night (good thing I stopped eating at 6:15)! I'm sure it's just the fact that I'm detoxing but wow...I guess I expected instant gratification. I should know better: good things come to those who wait. I've just never been one for patience.

Though on the bright side, I am finding that I am looking forward more to the foods I will be eating throughout the day. I'm excited to experiment with my morning green smoothie and I think as time goes on, and I get a little more experience under my belt, I'll be more excited to make raw lunches and dinners...for the time being, I seem to be sticking with salads. Though I did make a fantastic "ranch" last night.

Raw Ranch

makes 3 cups
Number of Servings: 24

serving size 2 Tablespoons

soak time 1-2 hrs

5 Minutes to Prepare

Ingredients

1-1/2 c cashesws soak them for a creamier dressing (1-2 hr is fine, then drain)

3/4 - 1 c filtered water for blending

3 T lemon juice(translates into approx 1/2 lemon)

1/3 c cider vinegar

1/3 c extra virgin olive oil

3 T agave ( or 3 soaked dates)

2 cloves garlic

1 t garlic pwd

3 t onion pwd

1 t dill

1 T sea salt

1/2 t basil

and to add after it's done:

1/4 c finely minced parsley

another 1/2 t dill, minced

Directions

Blend all ingredients till creamy and smooth except the last 2, then once blended, stir in the last 2 ingredients. Thickens in fridge. Thin to desired consistency if using as a dressing- or toss into wet lettuce leaves as is.

Just because I'm still having some issues letting go of this calorie thing, I did the math and this dressing comes out to be roughly 124 calories per serving.

But regardless, this was delicious! I decided that I didn't want it to spoil so I halved the recipe. For future uses I would recommend using less cider vinegar but other than that (and even as is in a salad), this was incredible! I don't know if it tastes a whole lot like ranch but it is so creamy and it is exactly what I needed. And keep in mind, my blender is kind of wimpy and it still managed to make it fantastic.

Hmmm...for some reason my morning smoothie didn't seem to keep me full for too long.

But what I'm finding out is going to be my biggest issue is that I eat to fill the time. At work I'm okay, I have my schedule and I stick to it. It's when I get home that I have problems. I eat dinner and then I go back for something sweet and then I just keep eating until I literally force myself to stop. I'm still not understanding this whole "listening to your body" thing. It's just too complicated for me at home, I'm so used to going home and tuning out myself completely and that usually involves sitting and eating mindlessly in front of the TV.

I did convince myself to walk to the dog park last night instead of driving so I guess I should be proud of that. I really need to let go of all this negativity I have towards myself.

Going Raw: Day One

Welcome to my blog!

Because going raw is possibly one of the most radical things I've ever done for my health, I decided to record all of the ups and downs I have along this path. Since there's not a whole lot to say about my experience thus far (given that it's only half-way through the first day) I think I'll start with what I'm most excited for:

First and foremost, I want to stop looking in the mirror and hating everything about my body. I'm sick of feeling disgusted with myself and then simply punishing my body for my own lack of will-power.

Secondly, I want to stop experiencing all of the negative consequences that come with poisoning myself with the foods I was eating (i.e. chips, excessive fats, refined sugars, etc.) and the nicotine I was hooked on.

And lastly, I want to stop being obsessed with what I eat. This is possibly the most important reason I decided to go raw. I'm sick of obsessing over every single little calorie that went in and beating myself up if I slipped up (which I usually did because I was so obsessed). This is proving to be more difficult than I had imagined. I know you can overeat and anything in excess is bad for you so I still find myself obsessing over how much I should be eating in a day instead of listening to what my body is telling me.

I think, because I've ignored it for so long, I've forgotten what to listen for. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel when I'm truly hungry, I don't know how to slow down in the middle of a meal in order to assess what my body is telling me. I gorged myself on my salad this afternoon (obviously it could have been worse) and only after I was finished did I realize that I could have probably savored it more and really enjoyed the experience of eating everything fresh.

Clearly, I've got a long way to go before I'm free of this obsession and can simply enjoy my life. Wish me luck!