Freedom from Fruit!

An epiphany:

I was reading Gena's blog (again)...I'm not stalking I swear, I just really like what the girl has to say! And reading the entry on how she chooses to limit her intake of fruits and other sweeteners scared the bejeesus out of me. "How can someone possibly go without fruit?!" But then I got to thinking (okay, finishing up my grocery list) and I tried to figure out what fruit I should have in the house for next week. I just kept crossing fruit after fruit after berry off of my list. It hit me that limiting the amount fruit consumed is exactly what I'm doing. The only fruit I ever eat these days are in my morning green smoothie which only has two fruit in it (banana and mango), my afternoon fruit snack (cherries and an apple or something) and my evening banana soft serve. I used to think that the best thing about being Raw was the I could eat as much fruit as I wanted but now, I just find it a bigger hassle to eat it. What with the concern over food combining, it's just simpler to limit the fruit I eat. No, I could never completely eradicate fruit from my diet, nor do I want to, but even substantially cutting back on the amount of fruit I do eat is quite an accomplishment for me. I'm still battling with the chocolate addiction, though even this is starting to look less daunting.

Given that fruit should never be eaten after a heavier meal like one that contains nuts for example, it's hard to even find enough time in the day to eat fruit. At this rate, I may even cut the fruit snack out of my day and replace it with some carrots. I'm also finding that lately, sweet foods have been less tempting. I'd much rather enjoy some veggies with a nut pate rather than gorge myself with fruit...it's also a lot easier to control my cravings and appetite with savory foods versus sweet ones. Like I said, I'm not planning on cutting fruit (or sweeteners) from my diet but I am truly enjoying the independence from them that I have gained these past (almost) three weeks. It's immensely refreshing.

Going Raw: Day 18

Wow! What a painfully slow day it's been. I keep thinking it's Friday!

Unfortunately, my OCD is kicking into high gear today. I can't seem to get anything done because my mind is so stuck on something else. As embarrassing as it is to say...it's stuck on raw food. I'm trying to make out my grocery list...again. I thought maybe if I started earlier I wouldn't get so obsessed, alas, not so. I just get obsessed for an extended period of time instead of one day. Oh well, you live, you learn. I just keep focusing on the foods I want to have next week and it's driving me insane because I know what I want to have but I also don't want to have too much of one thing (i.e. nuts, oils, etc.) or spend an absurd amount of money. I also feel like I should be making my own recipes...as if I'm some sort of mooch or a failure if I don't come up with my own creations. I always thought I was creative...I'm just scared to try with food.

I'm also freaking out because I'm worried that I may be eating too much dessert. My scale told me I gained a pound this past week (though I cheated and weighed myself way before my weigh day) and the only thing I can think of is "too much raw chocolate." But then I look at all these other raw foodists and talk to people on the RFC and they seem to eat dessert pretty much nightly. It's not like I'm gorging myself on pies and cakes and cookies...I just have my banana soft serve every night with some chocolate. So why am I freaking out?! It's a learning process...if something doesn't work one week, assess it and change it for next week until you find something that works for you. The only problem is that I'm so used to counting something (calories, points, etc.) that I don't know how to gauge how much I'm eating without them. This is how distorted our perceptions have become. We can't even tell when to eat and when to stop without the assistance of some irrelevant number given to us by god knows who! It should come naturally but we've been so acclimatized to eating based on these numbers instead of on our own hunger that we've forgotten how to. I want to learn but I'm just feeling so overwhelmed right now; it's like learning a new language in a foreign country...you have to pick it up but it's painfully hard and lonely until you do.

Okay, well in other news: I actually worked out yesterday. Instead of sitting on the couch yesterday while watching two hours of So You Think You Can Dance (yes, I'm addicted), I got on the floor and did some weight training for my arms and upper abs, as well as some resistance training for my lower abs. Now ironically, out of all the groups that I worked, not one of them hurts more than my thighs...which I barely worked on! And I thought my legs were in pretty good shape given the giant hill I have to walk up to get home everyday from work. I guess not =\

And completely irrelevant to food: my dentist is worried about my teeth (I went yesterday)...not because of cavities or anything like that (which I do have) but she says that I ground them so much that they're shorter than a lot of 60 year-olds' she's seen. She says that if I keep going, my teeth will be half the length they are now in eight short years! I don't want to lose my teeth! I should have seen this coming though...my dad lost his teeth when he was young, too. Though he didn't have the benefit of a night guard when he was my age. The dentist says that should help tremendously with the headaches, cavities, lock jaw and help me keep my teeth a lot longer.

Going Raw: Day 16

Well it's been an unusually slow day for me...not that I'm complaining. There have been no crises but nothing exciting is happening either except for the weather finally cooling down.

I gave the sweet and sour sauce another shot last night and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was...neither was the dressing. I think maybe both of them just needed some time to sit. I did have to add more salt to the sweet n' sour sauce though.

See, I actually like week days because I have a schedule and that keeps me organized and from eating when I shouldn't be. I get home, take Finn to the dog park until 6:00 and then when I get home around 6:15 I have some dinner and make my banana soft serve and chocolate sauce for dessert and after that, I'm pretty much done for the most part. I've been trying to keep the variety of fruit to a minimum in the house. That's definitely been helpful in not noshing after I've had dinner and dessert because I know that everything in the fridge has a purpose and I shouldn't deplete my supply before the week is over. I sound like I'm talking about living in a bomb-shelter...I just really hate shopping during the week.

What I do need to pick up again is exercising. It's ironic...I think I worked out more when I didn't have a gym available to me for use 24 hours a day for free. I've found that I just prefer to pop in a work-out DVD and do that for half an hour. It used to be because I didn't have a gym...and now it's because I have a dog that goes ballistic every time I leave the house for anything but work!

Whatever I figure out though, I really do have to get back into the habit of working out...walking an hour or so a day is great but I'm pretty sure I need more. I would like to get rid of this flab I've been collecting for some time.

Not to mention, I think with all the walking, I'm getting enough cardio...I just have to work on weight and resistance training...both of which I can do in the comfort of my own home...but we'll see. Maybe one of these days, I'll make it down to the gym.

BTW: That's my puppy, Finn.

Going Raw: Day 15

15 days already? I can't believe it's been two weeks now.

This weekend, as is usual, I over did it just a bit. On Saturday, I had my normal breakfast smoothie and had some watermelon for lunch (I was in a care-giving class from 8:30-5:00 pm) and caved and had some cherry tomatoes with Alfredo sauce (recipe to follow). Again...I just don't learn. Then for dinner I met my friend and we went to Whole Foods and had dinner there after which I went shopping. And had a Jocalat bar for dessert. On Saturday night/Sunday morning, I had to pick my friend up from the airport. I was so excited/nervous, I hadn't seen him in two years (he's a Marine). He was my drinking buddy back in my "party girl" days. He was surprisingly understanding of my new lifestyle. But we had to have a few drinks (unfortunately they were not raw) that were hanging out in my fridge from a previous life. And wow, was everyone right: when you're eating nothing but raw food, your body processes the alcohol a lot faster and I was tipsy after just one drink. I only had one. We stayed up until five in the morning just talking.

On Sunday, I woke up at eight and had my breakfast smoothie (the dog refused to go for a walk) then a big salad with Heathy's Italian Dressing. When Tim left, I went to my parents' house and got some things that my mom picked up from Costco for me. At home, I made a sweet basil dressing and a sweet n' sour sauce and some raw chocolate. I took a nap before I made all of this and overslept and was completely rushed to make this stuff. Needless to say, the experience was not the best un-cooking one I've had. The things didn't turn out so great (except for the chocolate which was AMAZING!). And I ate so late that I didn't give myself enough time to digest and I definitely felt the consequences this morning: I overslept slightly and was so sluggish that I barely made it to work on time. Then I wasn't even hungry until lunch time rolled around (which wasn't really a big deal). So I really have to remember to give myself enough time to digest a big meal or have something lighter if I don't have the time.

So what have the results been so far? I'm not sure if it's just my mind convincing me that something is happening but I do feel better about myself, I feel happier and that is the best result I could ask for. I don't feel weighed down by my decision to change diets and I don't feel like it's a hassle or that I have to make sacrifices that I don't want to make. The sacrifices I'm making or only the ones I want to make. My friends may not understand why I'm doing this but I'm not phased by it because I'm not doing this for them or for any reason they may think I'm doing it for. I'm still not happy with my body yet but hey, it's only day 15! I think six pounds in 12 days is a pretty incredible number.

Okay...now for the recipes:

Cashew Alfredo Sauce adapted from Gena's recipe:

Ingredients:
1 ¼ cup cashews, soaked for a few hours (I just put them under water when I left for work in the morning)
¾ cup water
1 Medjool date, pitted
Juice of 1 1/2 lemons
½ tsp sea salt
2 tsp miso
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder

Directions:
Combine all ingredients (use only 1/3 cup water to start) in blender until everything is combined and smooth. With the motor running, slowly drizzle in the remaining water until the sauce is the consistency you like and everything is well blended and smooth.














This recipe calls for using zucchini noodles but since I'm not a big fan (I find that they have too much water and dilute any sauce I put on them) I used kelp noodles and some cherry tomatoes and sugar snap peas.

Chocolate by Snowdrop on RFC

Ingredients:
3 tbsp coconut oil
3 tbsp raw cacao powder
3 tbsp agave

Direction:
Combine all three ingredients until smooth. Add any fillers you like (i.e. nuts, dried coconut, fruit, etc.) and pour into a mold or onto wax paper or aluminum foil and place in freezer until solid. Pop out of mold (or break into pieces) and enjoy.
Another (fantastic) use for this chocolate is as a self-hardening chocolate coating. Before the chocolate has solidified, pour it on top of your favorite raw ice cream (such as banana soft serve) and give it a few seconds to a minute to solidify. Enjoy.

This chocolate really is amazing! It has a very subtle coconut taste and solidified perfectly. The only problem I see with this is that I cannot control myself around it. And it's so easy to make! I guess I should only make enough for one use on top of my ice cream to avoid temptation.

Here are the links to the other recipes I used this weekend but they weren't my favorites...the dressing was much too sour and runny (I couldn't seem to rectify the issue). And the sweet n' sour sauce was just not right...I think I may give it one more shot today after I run it through the blender one more time. By the way, I used the sweet n' sour sauce on top of kelp noodles so I added some of the tomato soaking water to thin it out.

Gena's Sweet Basil Dressing and Fairygirl's Sweet n' Sour Sauce.