Sunday, September 6, 2009


I make myself sick...literally!
What kind of person eats until they can't breath, eats until they are sick?! I have such an effed up relationship with food and I'm so frustrated with myself for not being able to fix it. I just want to be able to look at food without seeing a means to stuff my feelings down. I don't see food as a way to stay alive, I see food as a way to kill time. If I was religious, it would be obvious that gluttony is going to kill me. It finally feels like food is going to destroy me...and my mother. She is even more sick than I am but I unlike her, I don't want to spend the majority of my life having this sick relationship with food. I want to be healthy and I want my perception of eating to be healthy as well. I'm tired to slowly eating myself to death.

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