I've Lost My Mojo

This is depressing: I've lost my raw mojo and I don't know how to get it back. It seems like everything I do isn't up to par. Every recipe I've tried lately just isn't doing it for me anymore. It's not a lack of inspiration, I've got plenty of that. I just don't know what's lacking. Nothing tastes as good as it did when I started. I can blame this on this past week. It was, as I've mentioned non-stop lately, my last week at work and everyone wanted to take me out. So I had a couple of meals (literally two) that were not raw: some hummus with pita and some green curry with rice oh and some chocolate and coffee. Everything was delicious. I've been trying to recreate a green curry and thus far have been failing MISERABLY. I'm thinking that I may want to just lower my expectations of myself for a little while. This is the first time I've considered that I may have dived into this too fast. I really don't want to give up and really want to succeed at this but I think I have been pushing myself too hard. Until I feel comfortable again, I think I may need to make a few exceptions to my raw food diet. While all of the food I will make at home will be raw, I think giving into a few of my (still healthy) temptations may give me a renewed enthusiasm about raw food. I will also have to resort back to a few of my favorite recipes from the beginning and lay off the new recipes until I'm back on track. This is just a little bit disappointing for me. I've been doing so well but I don't think I can take another failed green curry recipe =\

And school starts tomorrow and I don't remember the last time I was this nervous. Okay, since most of my recipes have been sucking lately I'll hold off on posting any. I did buy the most delicious raw honey from a local company this weekend at a farmer's market. It's maple honey and it is amazing, it has a very subtle minty flavor...nothing like maple syrup. I can't stop eating it. Well, I guess I better get my things ready for tomorrow...after all, I won't be home until after 10:00 pm. I'll report back on Tuesday and see if things have gotten any better. TTFN!

An Apology

I would like to offer my most sincere apology for being absent as of late. To say the least, it's been a crazy week. It's my last one at my full-time job, I'm training a new girl to take over for my position, I'm trying to get things figured out with school and I'm still trying to figure out what to do with Finn during this time. It's been hectic so I haven't had a lot of time to sit down this week and really write down everything that's been going on. I do have some recipes to share that I experimented with this week but those will have to wait until I have more than 15 minutes on the computer. You can look forward to raw barfi and an orange glaze.

As far as my insanity work-outs are going: pretty damn well! I'm almost done with week two and I caught a glimpse of my legs in the mirror last night and I have to say I'm impressed. They're starting to get some of that definition back and I can actually see muscle again! Of course, my legs are always the second thing to get fit/lose weight (my face is the first and boobs are third =P). But I'm happy with this progress because it proves to me that something is happening and if I keep going then everything else will shape up as well. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts up again. This month shouldn't be a problem but next month, when the workouts get harder and longer it may pose more of a problem. I may just have to decide to go slower next month and not workout every day...just the days I don't have to work. Or even possibly just repeat the first month and wait until break to finish the second month. Regardless, as terrified as I am of what's to come in the second month, I am determined to finish this program...even if it takes a little longer than I had originally planned. I just can't wait to finally see my stomach start to go away at last! That, more than anything else, will give me the most self-confidence.

Again, my sincerest apology and I will try to post again soon with the recipes. TTFN!

Stress, stress and stress

As you've probably figured out...I'm stressed. I'm freaking out about quitting my job. Or rather stressing out about school and my new job. The closer I get to the start of school and the start of my new part-time job, the more I start to panic. I just don't know how I'm going to handle it. I literally have to be in three cities every single day and somehow find time in between all the driving (because there is no way a bus is going to get me anywhere on time) to walk my dog, do my insanity work-outs, make food and the cherry on top of this sundae, do homework. I'm most concerned about not being able to walk Finn. I feel like I'm abandoning him. And hindsight being 20/20, this is probably not the best time for me to have a dog. I don't regret getting him, I love him to death but I'm so scared that I don't have enough time to really give him what he needs...it's breaking my heart. I'm sure I'm making a big thing out of nothing. On the days that I'm not working after class I'll be home sooner and have more time to spend with him than normal so it should even out. On days that I am working however, I have to drive back and forth between the city school and work are in and my home in Downtown Seattle just so that I can walk him. One of the women at work (she is an angel, I swear) caught me being all miserable and offered to walk my dog during her lunch breaks on days that I have to work so that I don't have to come back to Seattle. I immediately broke down and started crying; that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me...especially someone I hardly know. So today being the crap day it is, I caved and got myself a dark chocolate bar. Obviously not raw but I'm pretty sure it's as close to vegan as mass produced chocolate bars get. I just needed those endorphins...I think it helped.

But aside from that, I somehow managed to gain two pounds this week while still losing 1% body fat and a quarter inch off of my waist and another quarter inch off of my hips. I'm praying that those two pounds are just the new muscle I'm building with my new work-out regime. I'm not eating too much more than I usually do. Regardless I'm not worrying too much about it right now...I have enough to worry about on my plate. I think I need to wait until my life settles down again and I get into a routine to really focus on weight loss. I am by no means saying that I'm going to start eating junk again...or cooked foods for that matter. I will still be eating raw like I do now, I'm just not going to stress over everything that I'm eating...I'll do my best and whatever happens, happens. Not like I'm going to have a lot of time to really sit and eat anyway with my new schedule.

Okay, now for some more recipes!

Szechuan Dressing inspired by Shannsu on RFC:

Ingredients:
1 small clove garlic, crushed
2 tbsp. raw sesame oil (or olive oil)
1 1/2 tbsp. umeboshi plum vinegar (or apple cider vinegar)
2 tbsp. nama shoyu
2 tsp. raw honey (or agave nectar)
1 tsp. coarsely ground Szechuan pepper (or some black pepper)
1 tbsp. tahini
Cayenne pepper, to taste

Directions:
Combine everything together in a blender until a smooth consistency is reached.

Notes: This turned out pretty good and very spicy. If you don't like it spicy, you really want to be careful with the cayenne pepper. I also added a pinch of ginger.

Curried Broccoli inspired by Daniefon on Gone Raw:

Ingredients:
1 medium ripe tomato
2 dates
1 tbsp. sesame seeds
1/2 cup cilantro
juice from 1/4 a lime
juice from 1/4 a lemon
1/2 tsp. tumeric
1/2 tsp. cumin
curry powder, to taste
1/2 tsp. ginger
1 clove garlic
1 green onions
Salt, to taste
2 cups chopped broccoli florets

Directions:
Blend everything but broccolli together until well combined and only slightly chunky. In a large bowl add broccoli until everything is coated evenly. You can eat this immediately, or marinate it overnight in the fridge for softer broccoli. Serve with your choice or sides (i.e. rice, kelp noodles, veggies).

Notes: Oh wow! This stuff is delicious! If you like curry you will love this. I may try using only one date next time as it was a little bit too sweet but definitely still amazing! And the best part? Not a drop of oil in here and you could easily make it seedless! Incredible right?!

Okay, that's all for today folks...I'm off to be stressed, upset and grumpy. TTFN!

P.S. Now that chocolate is starting to make me sick...my bad.

Uncertain Future

Good Morning,

As promised I will post a couple (maybe three) more recipes today before I'm done. Trust me, they will be good!

However, I am having a minor panic attack this morning. It's probably clear by now that I'm quitting my well-paying, cushy and easy job to go back to school full time to become a nurse. One of my co-workers sent out an email to the whole team (all three hundred plus people) telling them that I'm leaving and why I'm leaving. Of course, no one reads the email so they all come up to me and start asking where I am going. How many times do I have to repeat the same information over and over? I feel like I should send out a mass email myself...not that it would help. Of course, she did this with the best intentions but it definitely was not something that I was looking forward to in my last week of work. So why am I freaking out? Because although I have a part-time job lined up already, I just don't know if that will be enough to cover all of my expenses. I've gotten used to living a life of relative comfort and apparently, I'm not quite ready to give that up. Too late now though. But the worst part is that I have had some people from my office approach me and start scaring me. They mean well and I'm sure they simply want me to be prepared but I'm scared enough as it is, do you really have to tell me how hard it is to get into the University of Washington Nursing School? I already know it's competitive, I'm not an idiot but that doesn't mean I want to be reminded of that fact constantly. I've considered that bit and I've decided to go for it anyway and I was happy with my choice, why do these people have to remind me of the possibly life-destroying aspect of all this?

Speaking of intimidating, I did the Cardio Recovery work out of the Insanity program. Can all of the work outs be like that? I worked up a sweat but my heart rate wasn't at a "holy shit just kill me now!" level today. It was very pleasant and hopefully it will let my muscles rest a bit. Right now, they are KILLING me. It will be nice to have this recovery day to look forward to every week. I've just been so stressed lately that I'm sure I've been eating awfully this past week and it's depressing me. I will try and do better next week, though I'm sure that will be nearly impossible as well given that it is my last week at work and who knows what these people will drive me to.

Okay, enough of the ranting, here are the recipes!

Hoisini Sauce by Russell James on RFC:

Ingredients:

1/4 cup tahini

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon yacon syrup or agave

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

3 teaspoons tamari

1/2 a garlic clove

1/2 a small de-seeded chili

1/2cm cube of fresh ginger

Directions:

Blend everything together in a blender.

Some notes: I never have fresh ginger in the house (probably because I'm not the biggest fan) so I used some ginger powder instead. I also did not have any chillies so I completely omitted them from the recipe and it turned out fine. I used a whole clove of garlic and replaced tamari with nama shoyu. This turned out really creamy and delicious. Russell suggests serving this with dehydrated broccoli and parsnip rice (which does sound delicious) but I have no dehydrator and no parsnips so I used my favorite; kelp noodles and some fresh, raw broccoli. You can go to the link and check out how he serves it.

Chocolate Covered Coconut Bites by Erin on Gone Raw:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup dates

water

2-3 tbsp. tahini, or other nut butter

1-2 c coconut flakes

favorite chocolate sauce recipe

Directions:

In a blender or food processor, combine dates and water to make a thick paste. Add tahini and blend until smooth. Transfer to a large bowl and add coconut until you reach desired consistency. Make into desired shape and lay on a cookie sheet in the freezer while you prepare your chocolate sauce. Once chocolate is ready, you can either roll each piece in the chocolate, dip half in it or drizzle the sauce over the tops. Put back in freezer to allow chocolate to set and enjoy!

Some notes: I made two attempts at this recipe. The first time my date paste was too thick and I added about 1 1/2 cups of coconut so the balls turned out way to dry. I recommend using about a half a cup of water (or more) to 1/2 cup dates, it will look thin but trust me, you want it that way. Then I used only 1 cup of coconut and it turned out to be the perfect consistency. It was a little soft but it set in the freezer. I also used 4 tbsp. of cacao, coconut oil and agave to make the chocolate sauce and I found it was enough to cover all of the balls entirely.

You can leave them in the freezer until you serve them but I recommend letting them defrost a little bit because that's when you can really taste them. These were REALLY good! Even the dry ones but the second batch was amazing when it melted a little. YUM! I even had SAD folk at work devouring these, they loved them as well and couldn't believe they were Raw.

I still have the Szechuan dressing and the simple curry to talk about but since this post has ended up being so long already, I'll save the rest of the recipes for a later date. TTFN!